Thursday, March 23, 2017

Something Borrowed - Emily Giffin

This Book:

I detest this book, loath it, ABOMINATE IT. Possibly the shittiest women's lit story written in the 21st century. AND THEY MADE IT INTO A MOVIE... AND KATE HUDSON WAS IN IT. Unacceptable.

This shitty excuse of a book begins at Rachel's 30th birthday party which was organized by her "best friend" Darcy. We quickly realize that Darcy is the bitchy charmed child and Rachel is the self pitying friend in the shadows. By the end of the night, Rachel and Darcy's fiancé, (who was originally Rachel's friend) get drunk, hook up and continue hooking up afterwards.

Why was this book shit? Oh, let me count the ways.

The whole foundation of the book was faulty. Rachel and Dex are having an affair. Ok, fair enough, people have affairs all the time, sometimes it's with a stranger, sometimes it's with your partner's friend and sometimes even with their siblings. Ok, it happens. BUT SINCE WHEN DID IT BECOME OK?! Cause that's how it was portrayed in this book.

Giffin took PAINS to make the reader hate Darcy and feel sorry for Rachel. We were bombarded with flashbacks of Darcy being mean and selfish, taking Rachel for granted and generally putting her down. All of Rachel's friends SUPPORTED this affair and again reminded her how terrible Darcy is. So, my question is: Rachel, WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU FRIENDS WITH THIS GIRL?!??! I'll tell you why, because Rachel is a spineless creature that's just floating through life and looking for excuses why it sucks. She hates her job but won't do anything about it, she complains about her figure all the time but never spoke of working out or changing her eating habits and she uses Darcy as an excuse for why her life sucks. "I didn't get into uni because Darcy stole my place, I didn't get the boy because Darcy got to him first." NO. It's cause you either weren't good enough or you didn't flippin try!!! Don't blame Darcy.

Another literary crime Giffin committed was creating a character that's not real. Of course I'm not going to hate Darcy and take Rachel's side because Darcy simply does not exist. NO ONE is this lucky, beautiful, loved, talented, successful and horrible. Yea, maybe on social media, but not in real life. It's ridiculous. She's pitted Rachel up against a unicorn.

I felt so much anger towards this book, even now, when I glimpse it in my kindle library, floods of hatred rush through my body. Like an allergic reaction.

A Midsummer Night's Dream - Shakespeare

I dislike Shakespearean plays, or so I've said to myself and others for the past 11 years, ever since I read the dreaded Romeo and Juliet and watched as my teacher awkwardly skipped the sex scene during the Macbeth movie.

My dislike for Shakespeare has no basis, rather I don't care for Romeo and Juliet, but it's just ONE PLAY. So! I've finally gotten myself to read another play and I didn't hate it! It was difficult to read, sure, but there are annotations and kindle now let's you check Wikipedia when you highlight a word, so it wasn't as bad.

It was funny, I'd love to watch it being performed and I'd definitely enjoy it even more now that I've read it and understand what's going on.

It wasn't until I got to the part where Hermia finds Lysander sleeping in the forest that I realized I used her monologue to audition for a play at University! No wonder I didn't get the part.. I didn't even understand what I was saying or the context it was in.

I don't even know why I attended the auditions, they were for Romeo and Juliet.... #hypocrite

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Moon Called (Mercy Thomposon 1) - Patricia Briggs

Mercy is a coyote shape shifter, (she can change form and become a coyote ) works as a mechanic and lives in a trailer behind an alpha werewolf's house. When a noob homeless werewolf turns up in her garage, she takes him in against her better judgement and is soon embroiled in a werewolf war- ok not WAR.. more like a conflict. That's not the only drama the werewolves bring her, for she must also deal with an old boyfriend she has long since left behind and a new potential love interest.
I don't know why I liked this. It must be because I had boycotted paranormal fantasies for so long before reading this. All well written paranormal novels are the same, fast paced, filled with action, contain well described sexy male leads and headed by either an endearing bimbo or a kickass stubborn female. Reading them is like being on a sugar high, you love it up until the point you realize that you've had the whole cake and now you're going to vomit it all out and possibly get diabetes. Which is what happened with me. I started this one evening and I got hooked, I couldn't put it down, I breezed through the first 75% like it was nothing but then I noticed the time and reluctantly switched off my kindle, hoping the four hours of sleep that I was going to get would be enough for me to pretend to be awake at the office. However, the next evening the charm suddenly wore off, just like the inevitable sugar high crash, and I wasn't so obsessed with the book anymore. I noted that the plot was pretty lame actually, the love triangle is so 2000 and late and the alpha wolf trope has been done to death.

Nevertheless, I will grant it the 4 stars I reserve for an entertaining, well written paranormal. Blood Bound is already on my TBR, let's see where this goes.

The Age of Innocence- Edith Wharton

Who knew New Yorkers were ever know for their subtlety and reserve!? The gilded age must have ended any ties they had to British formality as the progressive era seemed to be the beginning of the stereo typical American forthrightness.

Our story takes place in 1870 New York, a city were appearances were all that mattered, people stuck to others of their "rank" and Europe was viewed as the playground of the scandalous and "eccentric". Enter Ellen Olenska, a New Yorker by origin who had spent the most part of her life in Europe with her aunt. Ellen's return to NY is met with outrage as the conservative New Yorkers are repulsed at the idea that she left her abusive husband, allegedly with the help of her lover. Newland Archer, betrothed to Ellen's cousin, May Welland, is just as outraged as everyone else but does his utmost best to protect Ellen in support of his Fiancé.

It should be frustrating reading about times where everything was so hush hush and people refused to even admit things to themselves but it wasn't, cause this shit still happens. Newland is torn between his upbringing and the new ideas of women emancipation that Ellen inspires in him. Newland, living in the 1870's, is probably way more open minded and forward thinking than most men I know today, how messed up is that? I liked this character and how he changed throughout the novel I also liked May, whom for all her innocent girl exterior, turned out to be a shrewd little fighter.
3.5 stars cause it dragged and was a bit too dry for my tastes.

The moral I take away from this story and form every stunted love novel is Don't Settle. No matter what. Even if all the odds are stacked against you and it feels like there is no choice, in matters of the heart especially, just don't settle! That shit will follow you forever.