Friday, December 23, 2016

A Man Called Ove - Fredrik Backman

A man called Ove decides to die. Ove's never really liked other people, the only person who's constant company he enjoyed is his beloved wife Sonia. When Sonia passes away and Ove is subsequently forced into early retirement, he decides that joining Sonia is the only logical thing to do. However, life has other plans and soon enough Ove is distracted from his suicide plans by nosy neighbors, teenagers, a certain cat and a series of frustrating yet hilarious events. What a lovely book! I must be honest and admit that I absolutely hated it at the start. Ove's bitterness about EVERYTHING just got on my nerves, especially when we realize it's not age that's made him bitter but his genetic make-up. I didn't like his wife, for she seemed a self obsessed creature, I didn't like Pavana for her appalling meddling ways, I didn't even like the cat. I was just annoyed at the whole lot of them.

But then, the clown incident happened at the hospital and it made me giggle. And as the relationship between the characters deepened and evolved into something substantial, I started enjoying their interactions and felt for them. It's quite a feat for a book to change a reader's feelings so utterly. I usually judge a book in the first couple of chapters and if I dislike it then it's close to impossible to change my mind. Not only did I start liking though mid way, I LOVED it. The characters were so colorful and distinct, the dialogue funny and endearing and Ove grew on me unexpectedly.

By the end of this book, I was tearing up at each chapter, happy tears mostly. It was a beautiful, if sad ending, that was a perfect end to this light hearted, emotionally engaging novel.

Friday, November 25, 2016

Ready Player One- Ernest Cline

In a dystopian future, humanity pretty much mainly functions in the OASIS, a virtual reality that caters to all your needs and wants. Upon Anorak's, the creator of the OASIS, death, his final will is released to the world. He leaves all this riches and the keys of the OASIS to the "player" who manages to crack his puzzle and find "easter egg" hidden within the OASIS. And so, the race begins, with everyone on the planet fighting to gain this treasure.. whatever it takes.

What a delightful and clever book. I enjoyed reading this book SO much. It was pretty much an ode to the 80's and even though I wasn't around in the era, I still appreciated the references. In fact, it got me really interested in that decade and I wished I had grown up then, just so I could get all the allusions.

I loved the world Cline created, it's where I feel humanity is eventually headed. Great characters, on point dialogue, fast paced writing and action packed pages. Perfect read for any gamer enthusiast, 80's kid, Sci-fi or dystopian reader and anyone who enjoys an intelligent page turner.

Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier

A dark gothic tale about a young naïve nobody who marries Mr. De Winter, our broody recently widowed protagonist, on impulse. The new Mrs. De Winter dreams of an exciting and romantic life at Manderley, her new home. However, our heroine develops an unhealthy obsession with the dead Mrs. De Winter, Rebecca, and Manderley turns out to be creepy central.

Ok Hollywood!! You MUST make a remake of this! The 1940's movie doesn't count, it's bound to be cliché and over dramatic as was typical of that era.

Look, I've made your life easy.. I've already cast the roles, I'll even direct it for free! It will be a hit.. promise.

The Cast

Mr. De Winter: Dark, broody, middle aged:

He can still pass for a man in his 40's... right?! Botox works miracles.

Mrs. De Winter: Innocent, Naïve, young

In case you have no clue who that is, it's Dakota Fanning's little sister. Maleficent anyone?

Rebecca: Dark features, beautiful, mysterious character


Mrs. Danvers: Creepy, Skeleton like

No one does creepy like Helena Bonham. No. One.

Seriously now, this was the best book I've read all year. It's made my favorite book list. I know it's not perfect, du Maurier isn't the best with dialogue, in fact there were times when the dialogue was pretty basic and awkward, but who cares about dialogue when you've got the most beautiful descriptive paragraphs. Du Maurier's writing sucks you in and makes you feel like you're living the story with the characters.

I've read Jamaica Inn by the same author and found it to be mediocre at best, but Rebecca... Rebecca is a whole other world. If you're a fan of gothic themed books, this one is for you. It's not creepy in a horror way, it's more of a gothic thriller, but it did creep me out considering I'd read in the dark before bed every night.

I loved all the little details that went into it. Choosing to maintain an unnamed female protagonist was just perfect and fit into our heroine's naïve, plain and timid personality. I can imagine her optimistic and jaded view on life would have irritated some people but i totally identified with her overactive imagination. Haven't we all been there? Day dreaming about all the great things we're going to accomplish and how wonderful life's going to turn out, only to have reality hit us in the face like a brick.

Mrs. Danvers, bravo! The creepy, vindictive housekeeper, who's never gotten over Rebecca's death and hates our heroine on sight. Our heroine was terrified of her and so was I. I dreaded her name appearing on the page because it spelled disaster. The fact that du Maurier was able to incite such feelings in the reader is proof of her genius.

I want to read this book again and get lost in it's timeless pages.

Friday, November 18, 2016

Gardens of the Moon ( The Malazan Book of the Fallen #1) - Steven Erikson

The Malazan Empire is a cluster fuck. You've got Empress Laseen on one hand, who's taken the continent in a coup a couple of years ago, the resistance on the other hand trying to eliminate her rule and maintain the unoccupied cities and then you have the gods who are meddling in mortal affairs and trying to screw each other over. Fun Times!


First of all, if you haven't read this book already, make sure you buy it in paperback! Avoid Audio and e-book versions. I had it on my kindle and was unable to view the map + found it really tiresome to skip to the glossary every time I encountered a new character/race/country/etc. which kept me in a state of continuous confusion.

The Malazan Book of the Fallen is infamous for being a mind fuck. Erikson even writes a note at the start pretty much warning readers about how confusing the book is going to be. Found that a bit odd tbh, it was like he's defending his writing. an author shouldn't have to do that! Anyway it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be in terms of having to keep up but I definitely have to go back and read it now, things will make SO MUCH sense and the reading experience will be way better. That being said, i enjoyed this, it was a breathe of fresh air. What an intricate world and what an imagination! How can one man (or two in this case) hold all this in their heads? Very impressed. 5 stars for the world Erikson created and for all the pedantic details that went into it.

Contrary to what others say, it wasn't a fast read for me. Because I wasn't 100% certain what was going on, some storylines did not interest me and i found my reading lagging every time those chapters came up. On the other hand, I breezed through chapters that contained plots I enjoyed (Crokus, Sorry, Krupe- who btw is the best character evaaa). All in all, this book was 50/50 for me; I was intrigued but not blown away, impressed with the world building yet slightly bored, amused by the characters but not invested in them.

I have high hopes for the rest of the series. Now that I have my bearing and will be purchasing a paperback, I feel the second book will be rewarding.

Eragon (The Inheritance Cycle #1) - Christopher Paolini

When Eragon finds a strange blue stone in the forest, he takes it home thinking it could be of some value to sell. Little does he know that his discovery is going to lead him into the world of Dragons, war, dangerous enemies and possibly luurvve.

When I was in High School I had a crush on a boy who shared my love of Fantasy novels. I introduced him to the world of the Wheel of Time and he in turn promised to lend me Eragon. He had a terrible reputation and was labelled as a "bad boy", while I was the ever dramatic teen who pined after people but enjoyed the drama too much to ever actually date them. So, when he finally got round to lending it to me, I was upset at him for some reason and tragically refused to take it. We went to different schools and he had passed it on to a mutual friend, he even sprayed it with his perfume. Cringe. Anyway, I refused to take it from her (mutual friend), asked her to give it back to him and vowed never to read it. Ever.

Eventually, I grew up, became slighty less dramatic and got over the whole incident. However, by then I felt I had outgrown Eragon and I didn't think I'd find much enjoyment in it. Now, 10 years later, I've been taking a trip down book memory lane and picking up books I've always wanted to read regardless of their genre or their age target.

My hunch was correct though, I have outgrown Eragon. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely book, it accomplished what Anne McCaffrey set out to do with her Pern novels (Don't know what I'm talking about? Check my Pern review here ) but it was just too childish for me. Especially the beginning, which was drawn out in a slow world building fashion. Then you had your typical Heroic Fantasy elements. A nobody who suddenly discovers he's something special, a tragic event that starts him on his journey, the old wise man that tutors him, the ally he finds along the way to help him, etc. etc. etc. It didn't help that i was reading Gardens of the Moon at the same time, it accentuated Eragon's lackluster fantasy elements.
It's 2.5 stars, but I've bumped it up to 3 because it IS an enjoyable book for younger people and I would like to read it with my nieces, it's just a shame that I happened to read it at 27 rather than at 16 as intended!

Friday, November 11, 2016

The Warlord Wants More (Immortals after Dark # 1) - Kresley Cole

I read this book a couple of months ago and have been too lazy to write a review, mostly because this was shit.

She (Myst) the most coveted Valkyrie in the world, and he (Wroth)  a vampire searching for his eternal bride. Can their forbidden love prevail against all odds?!!  cue dramatic music

Can't even be bothered to write a witty and sarcastic review. So here's the breakdown:

- Myst is a pain in the ass. She's meant to be a thousand years old, yet her and her powerful ancient sisters spend the whole book screeching at each other, painting their nails, playing video games and like behaving like total teenagers, like oh my god, like, like like.

- Wroth is boring

- He chases her around the whole book since she leaves him with an erection only she can satisfy *gag* and then proceeds to pretty much rape her. You can argue that it wasn't rape since she "initiated" it, but he took her as a prisoner, controlled her through a magical item and teased her until she was "begging for it". LIKE THAT EVER HAPPENS?!?!?!?!
Oh yea, being held prisoner and sexually assaulted is so sexy... SAID NO ONE EVER.

There really wasn't much to the story. It's not a paranormal romance as it proclaims itself, it's pure erotica.

2 stars for being a well written Erotica!

Saturday, October 22, 2016

Magruder's Curiosity Cabinet- H.P. Wood

Kitty Hayward, a British citizen, is lost in early 20th century Coney Island. Separated from her mother and "rescued" by a conman, Kitty is introduced to the Magruder's Curiosity Cabinet and the freaks of Coney Island. But all is not as it seems on the island and pretty soon the fun touristic atmosphere is replaced by horrors of the plague.

This would have made a great farce. I laughed out loud at every tragic thing that happened because this book can't be taken seriously. But I don't think the author intended it as a farce, i think H.P. Wood genuinely wanted us to care about the characters and feel sad at their deaths.

I didn't care though and the fact that it wasn't a farce and the ridiculous tragedies that happened weren't intended to be funny made the book desperate and boring.

Writing could have been tighter. There's a 6 page dialogue between 2 characters that's repetitive and juvenile.

" Shuuut up, you bloviating fool." ( BLOVIATING? on what planet does a teenage boy say Bloviating?)
" A fool, am I? This fool was just put in charge of Dreamland."
" What did you say?"
" Wait, you want me to talk now? I'm sorry. It's hard to keep up with-"
" That park is mine. My father doesn't even care about Dreamland, not really. He wanted to call it the Hippodrome, for Chrissake! I'm the one who loves it. I'm the one who-"

How about both you bloviating fools shut the fuck up. And how about enough with the italics italics.

It's a good try. I liked the opening, it was original, i would really love to convert this into a farce though.

Friday, September 9, 2016

Dead Man Rising (Dante Valentine Book # 2) - Lilith Saintcrow

Complete and utter waste of time. The only reason I even bothered with this one is because I had already downloaded the audio book and I didn't have anything else to entertain me on my way to work.
Dante's whining levels increased ten fold in this one. She spent the whole book moping around one dead lover or the other in between getting flashbacks of her childhood abuse.
This series is really sub par compared to other paranormal romances. Does not deserve such a high rating at all. The main character is unlikeable and annoying, the supporting characters are indistinguishable from a lamppost, the writing repetitive and the plot..... no comment.
I have to start doing my due diligence when picking a paranormal romance, not many gems left out there.

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Working for the Devil (Dante Valentine Book 1)- Lilith Saintcrow

So many good paranormal books out there I would not bother with this one if I were you.

It's OK. Interesting premise. Dante Valentine is the best Necromancer around town, she can raise the dead even after they have been reduced to ashes, which apparently is no easy feat. She's also a well renowned bounty hunter. So when Lucifer needs to track down an errant Demon called Santino, he knows who to call on.

Appealing initial idea; disappointing execution. First of all, it's set in some futuristic world with hover crafts, slick boards, synth-hash and billions of other trying too hard terms. Which is really unnecessary in a Paranormal Romance novel. This is not a Sci-Fi novel and the additional elements detract from the story.

Second of all, Dante is an extremely depressing woman. She gets flash backs every other chapter about:
a) Being tortured as a child in her boarding school
b) Her Boyfriend of 3 years walking out on her with no explanation
c) Witnessing her bestfriend/lover Doreen being murdered
Sheesh! Give us a break already!

Third of all, I did not buy the love story at all. I felt like Saintcrow succumbed to the traps of the typical trope. The enemies turned to lovers plot device. Which is cool, I enjoy this plot device usually, but in this book it didn't add up. You have a 1000 year old ancient being that's being bossed around and treated like a dog by a 20-something and he falls for her because, get this, "she was the first person to show him kindness".

The action was good at least and it was fast paced so not a total waste.

The Bloody Chamber And Other Stories

A collection of fantasy retellings with a dark twist. Featuring little red riding hood, beauty and beast, puss-in-boots and other fairytale/ mythical characters.

I did not enjoy this at all. I expected intriguing dark and twisted fantasy retellings but the focus was on Carter's morose prose rather than plot building or progression.

She does have a way with words in that her writing flows like poetry at times. Unfortunately, that was lost on me and just bored me to tears.

Boring and uninspired.

Sunday, August 14, 2016

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo (Millennium Trilogy)- Steig Larsson

A crime novel about a journalist, Mikael Blomkvist, who teams up with a mentally challenged genius to look into a 40 year old missing person case.

Not what I expected at all. I picked this up having found myself at the airport with no summer read in tow and a shitty selection of books to choose from. As a summer read, it was everything I hoped it would be, fast paced, intriguing and entertaining. However, it was nowhere near the literary genius that everyone makes it out to be.

First of all, the fact that it is a translated copy is already a point against it. Nothing wrong with translated books, Reg Keeland did a great job, but I find that they loose their essence in the process.

Second of all, while the mystery was interesting it wasn't an earth shattering, mind blowing, out of this world concept. It was a pretty standard crime thriller

Third of all, what was up with the characters?! Mikael has no personality to speak off. He could be anyone and do anything and I wouldn't question it since we really know nothing concrete about him or about the way he is. On the other hand, Steig tried really hard with Salamander's character (that's the only way I remember her name) by giving her the unnamed personality disorder. Whatever mental illness he had pictured her to have in his head, I didn't buy it. It's really tricky writing about mentally challenged characters, you really have to know your shit, otherwise this character won't be taken seriously. Throughout the novel, Salamander is shown as an anti-social genius who lacks empathy and right at the very end she behaves like a lovesick teenager. Completely at odds with the character we were exposed to.

I read that those books were purely written for Larsson's pleasure and he passed away before they were published, I guess he never got a chance to work with an editor and get a second opinion.

Harsh review aside, I did enjoy the book. If it wasn't hyped up so much and I didn't go into it expecting a life changing novel this review would have been much nicer. The book served it's purpose, it kept me entertained on the airplane and was a page turner. That's all anyone can ask for in a summer read.

Sunday, July 10, 2016

Larissa Ione - Passion Unleashed (Demonica book # 3)

Finally!!! This was what I was waiting for. Don't give a damn about the rest of the series anymore. I've been soldiering on just to get to Wraith's story because i am a sucker for tortured souls. Ione promised and she delivered.
Both main characters were awesome and kick ass in this installment, no one got my nerves. The virgin thing was super cliché and an overused plot device but I will overlook that in lieu of the fact that this was THE book of the series.
The story line was fun as well and Wraith got to be his full on Epic self and move on from his tortured-ness.
Thank you Ione for not wasting my time and coming through!

Thursday, June 16, 2016

A Memory of Light: Book 14 of The Wheel of Time - Robert Jordan & Brandon Sanderson

A Memory of Light marks the end of Robert Jordan's great Epic The Wheel of Time. In this final installment, the forces of Good and Evil finally clash in the long awaited Last Battle. Our heroes are busy fighting the Dark One's forces on various battlefront while Rand heads to Shayol Ghul for the final showdown.

Where do i even start. I've been sitting on this review for a month now, at a loss for words. It's impossible to express my feelings towards this series with mere letters, augh! how do I explain to you the Epicness of this series, the glory of Robert Jordan and subsequently Brandon Sanderson. How?!

When I was 13 a bookstore opened across the road from my house. It was a great moment in my life considering bookstores were few and far between where I grew up and that I was already insane about books. That was were i first discovered WOT. I remember that day  very clearly. Up until then, my exposure to fantasy had been through Y.A. novels (Harry Potter, His Dark Materials, Narnia, etc.) and I fancied myself a fantasy fan. Little did I know that there was a much bigger world out there. i don't know what drew me to the WOT books, but I do remember liking the covers and picking up a random one. I was so intrigued after reading the blurb and disappointed that they didn't seem to have the first book in the series. I eventually hunted it down and thus begin my WOT obsession.

13 years later, I found myself on a plane, finally reading the last few chapters of AMOL, after having read the previous books 3 times, bawling my eyes out over the most emotional and heart wrenching ending that has ever been written. Every paragraph felt like a stab to the heart, I still feel so moved every time I think of the final events.

I can't talk about this without having spoilers everywhere. All I'm going to say is this last book surpassed all my expectations, I could not have imagined a better ending, deaths and all. This has forever cemented WOT as my favorite fantasy and nothing will ever take it's place. Thank you Robert Jordan for leaving this beautiful legacy behind. I see myself re-reading it time and again and always being surprised by things I had missed in previous reads.

The Wheel of Time is an Epic like no other.

Saturday, June 4, 2016

A Good Family- Erik Fassnacht

Reviewing an advance copy received from NetGalley.
This was a good first try. Well written and edited, which goes a long way with me. A Good Family is a story about the Brunsons, a highly dysfunctional family. Henry, the Father, has pretty much abandoned them to fast cars, a nice condo and younger girls. Julie, the mother, is depressed and barely hanging on to life by downing her Zolofts. Their first born son Charlie, had some sort of early life crisis and dumped everything to join the army. Which leaves us with the youngest, Barkley, who's actually the only normal one and just wants to become a teacher. We follow the lives of each of them as they deal with their shit and move on with life.

I enjoyed reading Barkley's and Julie's arcs. I cared about the characters and could clearly see their development and understood how it happened. With Charlie and Henry this wasn't the case. I didn't buy Charlie's guilt over what happened in Afghanistan, it felt forced and cliché. The way he got rid of the guilt wasn't convincing either, how do you fixate on something for so long and then just suddenly let go, just like that? It didn't make sense and I didn't feel like it was given the importance and time that it needed. There is something deeply disturbing about Henry, he's clearly totally fucked up in the head. Is it justifiable though? I mean psychologically justifiable to be this fucked up due to that event in his childhood? More pages were spent talking us through his day to day life than on examining his psyche, which bored me and didn't sell his story very well.

Bottom line, this was a decent first book, albeit unoriginal, that shows potential.

Thursday, May 12, 2016

Desire Unchained (Demonica # 2)- Larissa Ione

Runa wakes up in a dungeon Spade, and ex-boyfriend who cheated on her and turned to be a Seminus demon (type of incubus). Spade, plagued by a curse that does not allow him to fall in love, is blown away by Runa's new found ballsy character. Throw in a crazy person that wants them both dead and you have a whole lot of Drama.

Meh, did not like this one. I never cared for Spade in the first book and I continued not caring for him in this one too. Runa was just as bad. I hated how Ione portrayed her as this spineless pathetic girl that Spade totally trashed and then she came back a year later with a whole new personality and he was just blown away. It sickened me.
The weird shit with the S n M soul cleansing thing didn't make sense to me either, it was just bizarre.
A very weak installment that just about turned me off from the books. However, I still really like the brothers interactions and I really want to get to Wraith's story cause he's my favorite.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Pleasure Unbound (Demonica #1) - Larissa Ione

What is it about?

In a nutshell- Tayla Mancuso, a Demon slayer, lands at a Demon hospital after being beaten half to death by some Demon. Eidolon, an Incubus Demon, fixes her up and duh is attracted to her. Thus begins the classic enemies that want to fuck each other's brain out story and of course some exciting action occurs on the way.

I can sense that this series is going to become my guilty pleasure.

With a name like "Pleasure Unbound" one would expect this to be a sex-centric novel, but I hoped the name was just an eye-catching scheme and that the book would have a solid story. I was both satisfied and disappointed.

I was satisfied because the "main" story line was good. A demon hunter lands in a Demon run hospital and learns that everything she's ever known about Demons is wrong and that some of them are actually good or strive to be good. It was interesting learning about the different demon species and their version of creation. Some very good ideas there. The action plot was good, someone is kidnapping Demons and selling off their parts on the black market, interesting, want to know more...

On the other hand, I was disappointed because what was supposed to be the primary story line, really wasn't and just felt like a side dish or an appetizer for the sex plot (because there has to be one with a book called Pleasure Unbound) which was quite ridiculous to be honest. I can't take a book seriously when a conflict that takes up half the book is the fact that the main female character can't cum and the main male character who is a Seminus Demon ( A type of Incubus) makes it his mission throughout the book to bring her to Orgasm

And the reason the conflict occurred in the first place along with the resolution... oh my god no! Psychologists are crying everywhere in the world.

Hence why this is going to be a guilty pleasure. Cause, who are we kidding? If those books are about Incubi, they're going to be about sex. Fullstop.

She did end with an unresolved "main plot " (the actual good one) which made me download the second book ASAP. Also, I really liked the relationship between Eidolon (Incubus Demon) and his brothers. It was a respite from the " I'm a Seminist demon, I'm horny all the time" trope.

All in all, good effort, entertaining book, looking forward to the rest of the crew's romantic shenanigans.

Friday, February 12, 2016

Prince of Thorns (The Broken Empire Part 1)- Mark Lawrence

This is a tough one to rate. I've been putting off reviewing this for a few weeks as I'm confused about it. Let's break it down and start with the positives:

1. The Writing

Bravo Mark Lawrence! Fantastic writing, the book is filled with noteworthy quotes and witty dialogue. I'm beyond impressed; this is his debut novel and it is world class. Aspiring authors seriously need to take notes from this guy, who clearly put a lot of effort into editing and fine tuning instead of producing crap and tagging it as New Adult.

2. Story Telling

No doubt about it, Lawrence can spin one hell of a tale. Prince of Thorns is engaging, fast paced and exciting. It's the kind of novel that forces you to stay up till 4 am in a reading marathon, the type you ditch your friends for, a novel you'd rather spend valentine's day with. Yes, it's gripping.

So why the 3 Stars? The following points retracted from the book's worth IMO:

1. The Hero Syndrome

This is the same issue I had with The Name of the Wind.
What is the Hero Syndrome?
The Hero Syndrome is when a novel completely rests on one characters shoulders. This character is EVERYTHING. All writing tools are used towards progressing this one character's story line/personality. etc. This person is usually amaze balls as well. They can do everything and anything, they are superman, just because.

In this novel, obviously Prince Jorg is the Hero. Lawrence attempted to give the brothers some form of personality by ending each chapter with a one line about each one but that didn't help at all. In fact, other than the Nuben, all the brothers melded into one for me. All the magic people had the same characteristics as each other. And everyone else is now just words on a paper. Nothing worth mentioning or remembering.

Side Note: What was up with his OBSESSION with Katherine?

2. World Building


What is the Empire? Who is the Empire? Why is any of this even happening?

Perhaps this will be explained in the second book, but why would I want to read that when I have no clue what is going on.

3. Plot Holes and Convenient Coincidences

Does anyone realize that this kid is NINE YEARS OLD at the start of the novel?!?! How does a seemingly normal nine year old become a murderous psychopath? From a traumatic experience? HE'S NINE. Perhaps a trauma could lead him to depression or night terrors or schizophrenia FFS! But to suddenly become a murderer? Is this a psychologically sound argument? I don't know. I think Lawrence tried to justify it somehow by referencing the thorns and the ensuing disease or whatever, but sorry, makes no sense to me.

Also, Lawrence relied a lot on convenient coincidences whenever there was a seemingly impossible situation. Most of them were justified by voodoo magic but not all *cough* THE VERYY CONVENIENT ENDING *cough*. Perhaps it will be explained in the next book, but for now...

Will I read the second book? I really don't know. I'm not a fan of Jorg and his immaturity but the writing was just so spectacular I might be tempted.

Thursday, January 21, 2016

The Trial- Franz Kafka

‘There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.”
- Bertrand Russell

I definitely picked up Kafka to boast about it, what a dumb ass reason. I knew at my core that I would hate it. I knew it. Serves me right I guess.

This book is described as : "an existential tale, a parable, or a prophecy of the excesses of modern bureaucracy wedded to the madness of totalitarianism" What a load of pretentious bull shit. I CALL BULL SHIT. If you have to describe a book as " prophecy of the excesses of modern bureaucracy wedded to the madness of totalitarianism" to get people's attention then you're trying too hard.

What. Does. That. Even. Mean. and who even says that?!

Maybe I am not intelligent enough to see the mind blowing concepts Kafka introduced in this book but frankly I don't care. I'm confident in saying that as a novel this was a complete failure and, at least from what was displayed in this book, as a writer Kafka is neither good nor engaging.

Yea, I said it. Better believe it.

But why Lilyan? Why!? Why are you shitting on one of the major figures of 20th-century literature?

Because, you could have amazing ideas and never be a novelist. What's the use of writing your powerful ideas in novel form when you don't have the capacity to engage a reading audience or build characters?!

The Trial is a "novel" about Joseph K a banker who is suddenly arrested one day for an unknown charge. He is technically arrested but is allowed to roam free until the trial concludes. He spends the rest of the book meeting with bizarre characters that are all linked to the court in an attempt to exonerate himself. And that's it. That's the story. The main character, K, has the personality of a lamp shade. All the women in the novel are either whores by trade or linked to sex in one way or the other. The rest of the characters all blur together as tools to aid/hinder K.'s trial.

So what do we have here then? We have a book with pages containing writing that's completely void of characterization, plot progression or an engaging tone. Where are the "novel" elements then? How can you call Kafka a novelist? Perhaps a philosopher or a progressive thinker, an influential person, whatever you want to call him. But not a novelist.