Rebecca- Daphne du Maurier

A dark gothic tale about a young naïve nobody who marries Mr. De Winter, our broody recently widowed protagonist, on impulse. The new Mrs. De Winter dreams of an exciting and romantic life at Manderley, her new home. However, our heroine develops an unhealthy obsession with the dead Mrs. De Winter, Rebecca, and Manderley turns out to be creepy central.

Ok Hollywood!! You MUST make a remake of this! The 1940's movie doesn't count, it's bound to be cliché and over dramatic as was typical of that era.

Look, I've made your life easy.. I've already cast the roles, I'll even direct it for free! It will be a hit.. promise.

The Cast

Mr. De Winter: Dark, broody, middle aged:


He can still pass for a man in his 40's... right?! Botox works miracles.

Mrs. De Winter: Innocent, Naïve, young



In case you have no clue who that is, it's Dakota Fanning's little sister. Maleficent anyone?

Rebecca: Dark features, beautiful, mysterious character



LEGEND

Mrs. Danvers: Creepy, Skeleton like



No one does creepy like Helena Bonham. No. One.

Seriously now, this was the best book I've read all year. It's made my favorite book list. I know it's not perfect, du Maurier isn't the best with dialogue, in fact there were times when the dialogue was pretty basic and awkward, but who cares about dialogue when you've got the most beautiful descriptive paragraphs. Du Maurier's writing sucks you in and makes you feel like you're living the story with the characters.

I've read Jamaica Inn by the same author and found it to be mediocre at best, but Rebecca... Rebecca is a whole other world. If you're a fan of gothic themed books, this one is for you. It's not creepy in a horror way, it's more of a gothic thriller, but it did creep me out considering I'd read in the dark before bed every night.

I loved all the little details that went into it. Choosing to maintain an unnamed female protagonist was just perfect and fit into our heroine's naïve, plain and timid personality. I can imagine her optimistic and jaded view on life would have irritated some people but i totally identified with her overactive imagination. Haven't we all been there? Day dreaming about all the great things we're going to accomplish and how wonderful life's going to turn out, only to have reality hit us in the face like a brick.

Mrs. Danvers, bravo! The creepy, vindictive housekeeper, who's never gotten over Rebecca's death and hates our heroine on sight. Our heroine was terrified of her and so was I. I dreaded her name appearing on the page because it spelled disaster. The fact that du Maurier was able to incite such feelings in the reader is proof of her genius.

I want to read this book again and get lost in it's timeless pages.

Gardens of the Moon ( The Malazan Book of the Fallen #1) - Steven Erikson

The Malazan Empire is a cluster fuck. You've got Empress Laseen on one hand, who's taken the continent in a coup a couple of years ago, the resistance on the other hand trying to eliminate her rule and maintain the unoccupied cities and then you have the gods who are meddling in mortal affairs and trying to screw each other over. Fun Times!

INFORMATION OVERLOAD!

First of all, if you haven't read this book already, make sure you buy it in paperback! Avoid Audio and e-book versions. I had it on my kindle and was unable to view the map + found it really tiresome to skip to the glossary every time I encountered a new character/race/country/etc. which kept me in a state of continuous confusion.

The Malazan Book of the Fallen is infamous for being a mind fuck. Erikson even writes a note at the start pretty much warning readers about how confusing the book is going to be. Found that a bit odd tbh, it was like he's defending his writing. an author shouldn't have to do that! Anyway it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be in terms of having to keep up but I definitely have to go back and read it now, things will make SO MUCH sense and the reading experience will be way better. That being said, i enjoyed this, it was a breathe of fresh air. What an intricate world and what an imagination! How can one man (or two in this case) hold all this in their heads? Very impressed. 5 stars for the world Erikson created and for all the pedantic details that went into it.

Contrary to what others say, it wasn't a fast read for me. Because I wasn't 100% certain what was going on, some storylines did not interest me and i found my reading lagging every time those chapters came up. On the other hand, I breezed through chapters that contained plots I enjoyed (Crokus, Sorry, Krupe- who btw is the best character evaaa). All in all, this book was 50/50 for me; I was intrigued but not blown away, impressed with the world building yet slightly bored, amused by the characters but not invested in them.

I have high hopes for the rest of the series. Now that I have my bearing and will be purchasing a paperback, I feel the second book will be rewarding.

Eragon (The Inheritance Cycle #1) - Christopher Paolini

When Eragon finds a strange blue stone in the forest, he takes it home thinking it could be of some value to sell. Little does he know that his discovery is going to lead him into the world of Dragons, war, dangerous enemies and possibly luurvve.

When I was in High School I had a crush on a boy who shared my love of Fantasy novels. I introduced him to the world of the Wheel of Time and he in turn promised to lend me Eragon. He had a terrible reputation and was labelled as a "bad boy", while I was the ever dramatic teen who pined after people but enjoyed the drama too much to ever actually date them. So, when he finally got round to lending it to me, I was upset at him for some reason and tragically refused to take it. We went to different schools and he had passed it on to a mutual friend, he even sprayed it with his perfume. Cringe. Anyway, I refused to take it from her (mutual friend), asked her to give it back to him and vowed never to read it. Ever.

Eventually, I grew up, became slighty less dramatic and got over the whole incident. However, by then I felt I had outgrown Eragon and I didn't think I'd find much enjoyment in it. Now, 10 years later, I've been taking a trip down book memory lane and picking up books I've always wanted to read regardless of their genre or their age target.

My hunch was correct though, I have outgrown Eragon. Don't get me wrong, it's a lovely book, it accomplished what Anne McCaffrey set out to do with her Pern novels (Don't know what I'm talking about? Check my Pern review here ) but it was just too childish for me. Especially the beginning, which was drawn out in a slow world building fashion. Then you had your typical Heroic Fantasy elements. A nobody who suddenly discovers he's something special, a tragic event that starts him on his journey, the old wise man that tutors him, the ally he finds along the way to help him, etc. etc. etc. It didn't help that i was reading Gardens of the Moon at the same time, it accentuated Eragon's lackluster fantasy elements.
It's 2.5 stars, but I've bumped it up to 3 because it IS an enjoyable book for younger people and I would like to read it with my nieces, it's just a shame that I happened to read it at 27 rather than at 16 as intended!

The Warlord Wants More (Immortals after Dark # 1) - Kresley Cole

I read this book a couple of months ago and have been too lazy to write a review, mostly because this was shit.

She (Myst) the most coveted Valkyrie in the world, and he (Wroth)  a vampire searching for his eternal bride. Can their forbidden love prevail against all odds?!!  cue dramatic music

Can't even be bothered to write a witty and sarcastic review. So here's the breakdown:

- Myst is a pain in the ass. She's meant to be a thousand years old, yet her and her powerful ancient sisters spend the whole book screeching at each other, painting their nails, playing video games and like behaving like total teenagers, like oh my god, like, like like.

- Wroth is boring

- He chases her around the whole book since she leaves him with an erection only she can satisfy *gag* and then proceeds to pretty much rape her. You can argue that it wasn't rape since she "initiated" it, but he took her as a prisoner, controlled her through a magical item and teased her until she was "begging for it". LIKE THAT EVER HAPPENS?!?!?!?!
Oh yea, being held prisoner and sexually assaulted is so sexy... SAID NO ONE EVER.

There really wasn't much to the story. It's not a paranormal romance as it proclaims itself, it's pure erotica.

2 stars for being a well written Erotica!

Magruder's Curiosity Cabinet- H.P. Wood

Kitty Hayward, a British citizen, is lost in early 20th century Coney Island. Separated from her mother and "rescued" by a conman, Kitty is introduced to the Magruder's Curiosity Cabinet and the freaks of Coney Island. But all is not as it seems on the island and pretty soon the fun touristic atmosphere is replaced by horrors of the plague.

This would have made a great farce. I laughed out loud at every tragic thing that happened because this book can't be taken seriously. But I don't think the author intended it as a farce, i think H.P. Wood genuinely wanted us to care about the characters and feel sad at their deaths.

I didn't care though and the fact that it wasn't a farce and the ridiculous tragedies that happened weren't intended to be funny made the book desperate and boring.

Writing could have been tighter. There's a 6 page dialogue between 2 characters that's repetitive and juvenile.

" Shuuut up, you bloviating fool." ( BLOVIATING? on what planet does a teenage boy say Bloviating?)
" A fool, am I? This fool was just put in charge of Dreamland."
" What did you say?"
" Wait, you want me to talk now? I'm sorry. It's hard to keep up with-"
" That park is mine. My father doesn't even care about Dreamland, not really. He wanted to call it the Hippodrome, for Chrissake! I'm the one who loves it. I'm the one who-"



How about both you bloviating fools shut the fuck up. And how about enough with the italics italics.

It's a good try. I liked the opening, it was original, i would really love to convert this into a farce though.

Dead Man Rising (Dante Valentine Book # 2) - Lilith Saintcrow

Complete and utter waste of time. The only reason I even bothered with this one is because I had already downloaded the audio book and I didn't have anything else to entertain me on my way to work.
Dante's whining levels increased ten fold in this one. She spent the whole book moping around one dead lover or the other in between getting flashbacks of her childhood abuse.
This series is really sub par compared to other paranormal romances. Does not deserve such a high rating at all. The main character is unlikeable and annoying, the supporting characters are indistinguishable from a lamppost, the writing repetitive and the plot..... no comment.
I have to start doing my due diligence when picking a paranormal romance, not many gems left out there.

Working for the Devil (Dante Valentine Book 1)- Lilith Saintcrow

So many good paranormal books out there I would not bother with this one if I were you.

It's OK. Interesting premise. Dante Valentine is the best Necromancer around town, she can raise the dead even after they have been reduced to ashes, which apparently is no easy feat. She's also a well renowned bounty hunter. So when Lucifer needs to track down an errant Demon called Santino, he knows who to call on.

Appealing initial idea; disappointing execution. First of all, it's set in some futuristic world with hover crafts, slick boards, synth-hash and billions of other trying too hard terms. Which is really unnecessary in a Paranormal Romance novel. This is not a Sci-Fi novel and the additional elements detract from the story.

Second of all, Dante is an extremely depressing woman. She gets flash backs every other chapter about:
a) Being tortured as a child in her boarding school
b) Her Boyfriend of 3 years walking out on her with no explanation
c) Witnessing her bestfriend/lover Doreen being murdered
Sheesh! Give us a break already!

Third of all, I did not buy the love story at all. I felt like Saintcrow succumbed to the traps of the typical trope. The enemies turned to lovers plot device. Which is cool, I enjoy this plot device usually, but in this book it didn't add up. You have a 1000 year old ancient being that's being bossed around and treated like a dog by a 20-something and he falls for her because, get this, "she was the first person to show him kindness".



The action was good at least and it was fast paced so not a total waste.